How do you manage through a negative or escalated emotion at work? You might feel a tightness around your throat or chest, your heart racing, and your thoughts raging of what you should have or could have said. Or maybe you went ahead and said it! Oops, now what?
Did you know when you are in this state of emotion, the brain is misfiring? It is operating in a compartmentalized fashion. When you are in logical control of yourself, it makes sense that this is not the best time to react or take action.
So what can you do? STOP! Just like you would when a computer is malfunctioning, you need to initiate a force stop. It needs a break to re-calculate, and so do you. In the heat of the moment, this is extremely hard. Imagery or quick statements that remind you to take a specific action are effective.
Give these a go:
- When you feel triggered, instantly see S-T-O-P! Do it right now. Bring to mind a moment your were upset. Really feel the emotion. Now see S-T-O-P and do not engage. Become the neutral observer of the moment until it passes.
- Repeat words within yourself (self-talk) that represent how you want to show up in these situations such as “Calm, Cool, Collected” or “Stop, Breathe, Ground.” Eventually one simple word that you repeat, internally, like BREATHE, is enough to ground you.
- Allow time to reinstate your logical brain to enable you to make a quick self-inquiry as in, “what outcome do I want from this and how do I want to feel moving forward from this?” Envision what that looks like when you activate your higher self perspective.
As you get good at this, you will be able to activate this state in a matter of seconds. It will become an automatic mental habit. This is the optimal state from which to develop pathways towards the best outcomes that ultimately serve you well, even if in the moment, you are too stubborn to see it.
When you make the effort to nurture your brain into a state of coherence, you gain “wholeness perspective” because your brain is firing in a cohesive fashion between both hemispheres. The ego or need to defend one-self is released, and now your view of options expands as does your Hope, Efficacy, Resilience, and Optimism (the H.E.R.O. within).
WORPLACE INTEGRATION:
At your next team meeting, introduce this exercise. Ask those who wish to share about a time they were emotionally triggered and how they handled that situation. Have an example in which the person managed through it productively and one in which the person reacted, and the outcome was not what he/she hoped for.
Take the first example to highlight some of the steps the person took to manage the emotional trigger well. Did he/she pause or ask a manager for guidance? Be sure to drive home the point of what was taking place in their mental space. This makes it click! Show them how they moved from compartmentalized thinking to a wholeness perspective when the body is at ease, calm, and grounded.
Take the second example and ask the person to identify the steps he/she could have taken to self-reguate through the elevated emotional state. Invite the team to also explore other avenues that would result in a more positive outcome. This builds confidence to repeat these steps and cement new learnings.
Finally, take a current work example that the team struggles with. Have the team walk through how they can apply their new knowledge. Next, ask them to close their eyes and imagine what the better outcomes FEEL like when their brain is operating coherently?
Reward them in knowing that their brains are releasing feel good chemicals fueled by positive emotions and even boosting their immune system- just one of the many perks of getting in control of your mind before your mind wreaks havoc at your work!
AUDIO VERSION: https://apple.co/33HlLzx
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Jessica Morales Myers, CHt. is an Expert on Building Positive Psychological Capital for the Workplace and Making It Stick! Learn more about her work and testimonials on LinkedIn and www.beyoubloom.com